Member-only story
Battle Your Chronic Intrusive Thinking to the Death
Before It’s Too Late
Have you become so used to your negative thought patterns, that when you actually have moments of feeling good, you observe a fearful response as if you’re in unfamiliar territory?
How f*ed up is that?!
Why does it take bravery to accept and even accentuate instances of happiness? Because, like me, you know the other shoe always drops. And we even go as far as to think that the more we revel in a positive streak, the worse that drop will be. Ain’t that a b*tch?
Well, it’s bullsh*t. And it’s a waste of precious time.
After watching my father die of cancer and my mom deteriorating into a life of dependence and immobility, I’m reminded to try and enjoy whatever healthy years I have left. But even with that lesson in my toolbox, I still allow my baseline mood to be cynical and nihilistic, which keeps me from pouncing on opportunities for adventure and happiness. Well, that and inflation.
It’s that comfort zone of repression, especially from living in a city, NYC to be specific. You can’t get too ahead of yourself because something lurks around the corner to hinder your progress: traffic, an accident, congestion pricing, a summons, another tax, construction, sh*t weather, lunatics on the streets and…
