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Feeling God’s Wisdom at the Edge of a Cliff
A Battle Against Myself and The Overlook Mountain Trail Paid Immense Dividends
I’m not an organized religion type of guy. I’m not an atheist either. Gun to my head, I’d say Mother Nature is God, the creator and destroyer of our world, with the reasoning behind everything.
She giveth and taketh away.
I’ve found her call to be louder in recent years, but it fell on deaf ears during a bout with an anxiety disorder during the Winter/Spring of ’23.
I’ve had three such episodes in my life — not fun. They lasted for months and brought insomnia to this otherwise solid sleeper.
Once they’re in full swing, I feel like my body’s hijacked. Although it’s in a different context, I compare these phases to the scene in Get Out when the main character’s consciousness is driven into “the sunken place”.
During my previous spell, it was hard to fight off intrusive ideas and symptoms of depression. As a 40-year-old with an adventurous past as a touring musician, debilitating thoughts of better days are behind me snuck in. Turning it up a notch, usually, was the poisonous happiness is behind me that followed. Both are obviously malicious self-deprecating lies.
