I’ve Accepted What I Am, and I’m Not Thrilled About it…Not Yet

A Stream of Consciousness Portrait of a Civilized Man

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Like any living being on this planet, I am a product of environmental and cultural conditioning.

I’ve come to understand this fact, and also resent it because I base my worth on what civilization conditioned me to value most: my work.

I don’t blame capitalism, socialism, communism, or any other -ism for this warped mentality.

I blame agriculture.

Where we went wrong

Biologically, as a male, I’m partial to the hunt for food and being a provider. Deep down, a male member of the Homo-Sapiens species bases their self-esteem on how well they perform in this role.

We haven’t evolved from this objective.

What agriculture and civilized society have done is stifle the hunt, since other human entities control and commodify the population’s food. So, I’ve been forced to replace my natural urge to hunt with performing specialized labor to “earn” money; thus acquiring and providing necessities given by gatekeepers not of Mother Nature anymore, but of fellow man.

This suppression and replacement of an innate duty is the bane of my existence. My…