I've said to friends many times: if I end up that 86-year-old dude struggling to cross an intersection on Queens Blvd with a line of cars bearing down on me aching to make their turns, it means I've failed at life and ask to be shot in the cranium. Sounds depressing but we always laugh about it because we get it, being from this wretched place.

Loved this piece to my core, dude!