Thank you so much for reading and engaging in my story. I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time figuring out a way to help with your depression and anxiety. What works for me is asking for help first. It's easier to suffer in silence and avoid being a subjective "inconvenience" on others, but it typically will not work out well. At the same time, it's good to be introspective and mindful of negative thought patterns. I challenge and reverse-engineer them to get to their root. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) puts those thoughts into a rational light for me. I hope my feedback can help dig you out of the abyss in any way. It's a very frustrating and complicated condition to deal with, I know.