You Will Have Climate Lockdowns and Be Happy
A Letter From the World Economic Forum to the World
To our innocent and unenlightened citizens of the world,
We are facing an unprecedented global catastrophe — again — but have no fear; daddy’s here.
We, the World Economic Forum, messiahs of a new generation, are making sure that mean ol’ Climate Change man isn’t gettin’ ya.
Firstly, we continue to shoulder the burden of hoarding and consuming this delicious and nutritious meat so you won’t have to suffer any more guilt with your diet.
We also hope you’re enjoying our ingenious 15-minute cities, relieving you of your anxieties over being free-range. Everything you require is within walking or biking distance. Just be sure to keep your cities clean and buzzing for when we want to visit, flying in on our private jets. Yes, our mode of transportation contradicts our environmental mission, but let us bear that sacrifice. It’s our duty; we need to be optimally mobile in order to monitor, analyze, and implement your progress.
You’re doing great. Keep it up!
Again, we apologize for destroying the planet, in the first place, and we’re working feverishly to make things right. It was us, the capital investors, the global investors (because…
